Guys, Justin Beibers back and he’s got himself some Crocs. More specifically, some kinda strange, new deal with Crocs where he gets to design his own Crocs. Why? I don’t know, maybe because this world is falling apart at the seams and nothing really has to make sense anymore. Okay, Post Malone designed his own Crocs earlier this year, but we all knew he was into corny, sellout type things. But Bieber? Come on man, how could you? Actually, wait, no, that makes sense that you’d do it too buddy. Sellout type things are all the rage. So go make you a pair of these Justin Bieber Crocs, why don’t ya?
Check Out These “Beauts”
Now I’m pretty sure we’re all thinking the same thing, “I’m sure if someone worth as much as Bieber designs his own Crocs, they’ll actually look FIRE AF!” Well you’re in luck because here’s a picture of them for you!
No, you’re eyes aren’t malfunctioning. If you thought you saw an absolute abomination assaulting your ocular orifices, you would be correct. How this design ever passed by a marketing team and they signed off on this neon yellow eye assaulter, I’ll never know. These “shoes” are what I would expect would happen if Big Bird from Sesame Street decided to beat the shit out of SpongeBob, piss on him, and toss him in the Arts N’ Crafts bin at his local Hobby Lobby, right before Shaq crammed his feet inside of SpongeBob and wore him as a pair of loafers to the closest Chuck E Cheese ball pit after knockin’ down a few corn dogs slathered in mustard.
But wait, I’m so silly. No, these would NEVER be meant for adults to wear. Silly me, these MUST be meant for children. Oh wait, they’re meant for full grown adults? Pardon me while I go set up a lawn chair in the middle of I-10 and wait to get smacked by a Peterbilt to feel better.
Now How Bad Could The Sale Be, Really?
I decided to go check out the sale of these just because I refused to believe how people would want themselves some Justin Bieber Crocs AKA The Yellow Monstrosity 500s. I’m sure the sale wouldn’t be bad. Oh damn Biebs, you’re only charging $60 for a pair instead of a few hundred most celebrities would? Well that ain’t too bad. I wonder how long they’ll last, a day, a couple days, a week, maybe even a month? WRONG. These sumbitches were goneskis in…: Drum Roll Please!
Someone mind telling me how Bustin’ Jieber sold out his Crocs line in 5 MINUTES?! You’re telling me these shoes lasted A WHOLE 2x LONGER THAN ME IN A BACK ALLEY HOOKUP?! Well damn, good for you Biebs, good for you. Didn’t even think the guy was a big deal anymore, but Lo And Behold, he’s still got him some Beliebers, I guess.
Too bad and so sad to all the people that actually waited in line on their computers for literal hours to try to get themselves a pair of the Air Mustard 1’s over here. Big shoutout to the dedicated ones like this man here in 30 FRIGGIN’ CHECKOUT LINES SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Not a soul stood a chance against the sheer determination and Bieber Fever of this man here. Runnin’ up those Resell Market prices at it’s finest, which btw, are already at around $120+ now. The common man never stood a chance at copping a pair. Unless you’re Mr. WE THE BEST, I guess.
So to all of you, good luck grabbing a pair of Justin Bieber Crocs online now. I know you’ll all just be FLOODING StockX with requests trying to cop a pair of these absolutely “BEAUTIFUL” Yellow Yeeters. Make sure you let me know if you cop a pair so I can make sure to ignore your message.