What up, fam! Anybody remember that time we were graced with what felt like a once a week chug from a celebrity on the big screen? We had sports (RIP), hot chicks and alcohol all in the same picture. What a time to be alive! Feels like ages ago that these things happened. So, I thought I would revisit some of the best and worst celebrity chugs and give them my overall grade since I’m quite the veteran in this field myself. Let’s start with a banger..
As if Sansa Stark wasn’t badass enough. Then she goes and does this. She took down that glass of wine faster than Tommen could jump out of that window in the season six finale (sorry, spoiler alert). Look, any average joe can take down 12 or so ounces of a bud light but red wine? THATS HOT. (Hence why I married my wife) Im thinking she’s a cab kind of girl? Or maybe Pinot? I could have done without the awkward dab but still an impressive feat. Give this girl the throne! Grade: A –
A different form of the chug, but nonetheless still a chug. And quite frankly, one of my favorite forms- the shotgun. A LOT to talk about here. First, the choice of beer. I know there are some Bakeshow haters out there but he was my guy way before I knew he was a Miller fan. Now I love him even more. Second, we all knew Baker could throw the ball but how about that SNAG?! He catches that thing straight outta nowhere and without hesitation goes right in for the bite! Only disappointment is that he missed the shake and slam part of the shake, slam, bite move. Gotta deduct some points there. Next, the spillage. Ya hate to see that. More points lost, Baker. Overall, a solid showing and decent finish. Most importantly, however, is the SMOKESHOW to his left. POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR! Grade: B+
Aaron Rodgers & David Bakhtiari
Jesus. This one makes my stomach cringe. Let’s start with Bakhtiari. Obviously just from his body habitus alone you could assume he would take this beer down easier than sliding a hot dog down a hallway. Which he does. Two might I add. Then, in a natural bro fashion, he challenges his “Hall of Fame” QB to do the same (que stomach cringe). Aaron respectfully toasts the crowd and starts off okay…chugging…chugging..then, oh know, not the eye squint and the “Im choking on a big dick” look. YUP. Thats exactly what we got. And to top it all off he can’t even finish the whole beer. Say it ain’t so Rodgers. I bet Brees wouldn’t have batted an eye at that challenge. And just to rub it in Rodgers’ face a little more Bakhtiari casually takes down one more beer. Grades: Rodgers: D- Bakhtiari: A+
Taylor Lewan and Crew
Another one of my favorite forms of the chug- the luge. But not just any luge. A fucking dead catfish luge. Taylor Lewan and crew took the chug to a whole new level and I loved it. The volume of beer they actually consumed was negligible but that’s beside the point. The electricity in this video is exactly what makes me miss sports so god damn much. It also helps that Nashvegas is essentially my second home and the greatest place on earth. Cheers to you, Lewan and crew. Never change. Grade: A
This is it. This is the chug of all chugs. Beer? Nah, my guy said fuck it and took down that bottle of Jack quicker than Otter got put on double secret probation. Who could ever forget this amazing man and his chugging ability? I don’t care who you are, if you haven’t seen Animal House then I DONT FUCKS WIT YA! If you didn’t have a poster of John Belushi in the infamous “college” shirt in your dorm did you even go to college? RIP Legend. This ones for you. Grade: G.O.A.T.
I think we should make this a thing. We can’t have real sports so I say we make our own. You’re telling you wouldn’t bet on that? Maybe its the degenerate gambler in me but give me the over on Bakhtiari ALLDAY.
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