Happy Thanksgiving from HTM Sports. If you are in church right now please hit the home button and come back later. The spreads will be on the table waiting for you. Let’s go ahead and get started while the plate is hot. Look, the ones who are closest to us will be the ones who tell you to take the week off and enjoy football for the good time it has always been. Basically, don’t spend a fucking dime this week pal. That is probably what the little evil Thanksgiving turkey on your shoulder is saying. If you have a honey, it was probably something along the lines of the good ole budget season speech.
Same Ole Shit…
We’ve all heard it already as wager junkies. Usually it sounds something like “Christmas is right around the corner” which almost certainly means think real hard before you bet on Michigan this week. Hey, thats on you pal.
Call Someone Else When Shit Hits…
Don’t be calling HTM when shit starts to hit the fucking bricks man. Anyways, this is where things get good. Get a hold of Dawgsfan34. Wade must have been sitting in his undies eating a hot pocket when he decided to complain about the Thanksgiving football schedule this week. Let’s hear it Dawgfan.
Can we all just be thankful? Unlike Wade over here unable to contain himself for 48 full hours without football. Wade needs to grab a glass of Georgia lemonade and take a deep breath. However, we do sympathize for his impatience to see if his Bulldog’s finish out solid enough to stay in the mix when Bama beats the piss out of Auburn today. Georgia, you have fought hard.
Unfortunately, it will be a disaster of a football week for Georgia. Alabama will in fact beat the piss out of Auburn. The Saints are primed to absolutely pluck the dirt birds in that phony ass Mercedes Benz Dome. Also, hang on tight Dawgfan. We will see you in a couple weeks when the LSU Tigers roll into that same phony ass Mercedes Benz catastrophe to whoop that Bulldog booty. In conclusion, Georgia will miss the CFP in tragic fashion. Utah may even pop a squat at the table. Spreads on the plate!
HTM Thanksgiving College Spreads
Ole Miss vs. Miss St. (MISS ST. +2.5)
- The Battle of Mississippi on our hands.
- Honestly, State still fucking sucks.
- Miss St. also 4-7 against the spread.
- Ole Miss is 7-4 against the spread and capable of a show on offense.
- Another #10 is thriving in Oxford.
- Ole Miss Basketball just made some noise last night.
- Round of applause for Karina? Aw yeah, Ole Miss for sure.
Mayo Spread Pick: Take Ole Miss to cover (+2.5) Who cares what part of MS the game is in?
Update: Ole Miss pissed themselves, but did cover. They LOSE 21-20.
(24) Virginia Tech vs. Virginia (VT -2.5)
- Virginia Tech is on FIRE!
- More basketball news, VT beat Tom Izzo earlier this week.
- Got some hyped up Hokies right now.
- Virginia has won three straight as well, but TECH!
- Both these teams are mediocre spread achievers.
- Virginia is that team that can step in and mess shit up.
- Overall Tech is almost certain to win and cover.
- Virginia has never what? Stop it.
Mayo Spread Pick: Take Virginia Tech to cover (-2.5)
Update: Virginia is who we thought they were. A team that can fuck everything that makes sense up. Tech blows it, 39-30.
Texas Tech vs. Texas (TEX -10.0)
- Who really gives a shit about this game?
- Tech loves to air-raid the piss out of the football.
- The Red Raiders also love coming from behind to cover.
- Tech has lost by 10 points once in the last five games.
- Texas and Tom Herman are going through a nightmare.
- TEX NEEDS to show up.
- The Longhorns will most likely win.
- Longhorn Football in general will most certainly still be a tragedy the next day.
Mayo Spread Pick: TEXAS has no business covering in this game. If anything, a push seems certain. Take Tech to cover (+10)
Update: Texas was down 14-0, then Texas Tech went full Texas Tech. The Red Raiders blow it in second half. Longhorns cover, 49-24.
(17) Iowa vs. Nebraska (IOWA -5.5)
- Nebraska is an atrocious 2-9 against the spread.
- Iowa will not go away, every single year.
- Here is where there’s an issue…Iowa sucks the soul out of your offense.
- They also suck the soul out of their own offense as well.
- It is very bizarre to ever take Iowa to cover anything more than three.
- In this scenario, I’m going with Nate Stanley to do just that.
Mayo Spread Pick: Nebraska needs to take that ass whooping they are expected to get. Take Iowa to cover (-5.5)
Update: Fuckery has occurred.
West Virginia vs. TCU (TCU -12.5)
- These God damn Horn Frogs…
- Both these teams lost by seven to Oklahoma State recently.
- I’m not too certain I understand TCU as the large favorite here.
- The presentation tells me that this game will be a 7-10 point game.
- Nothing has shown me TCU will win by over 10 points.
- Last game of the regular season, teams will show up.
Mayo Spread Pick: Take WVU to cover (+12.5) please.
Update: West Virginia covers! OLE WEST VIRGINIAAAA!
(3) Clemson vs. South Carolina (CLEM -27.5)
- This is a weird fucking deal.
- We know Clemson will win this game.
- Clemson is 70-42-4 in this series.
- The Gamecocks have been here before this season.
- This game sounds a ton like SC vs. Georgia. (Georgia was favored by 21 points that game)
- Muschamp didn’t even lose to BAMA by 27 points.
- South Carolina has not loss by 27 points this season.
Mayo Spread Pick: Take those Gamecocks to cover (+27.5) man!
Update: South Carolina scored three points. Clemson scored 38 points. Muschamp is a dweeb.
(1*) Ohio State vs. (13) Michigan (OSU -9.0)
- Ohio State is #1 this week in the CFP Poll.
- Jumped LSU in the most bizarre poll jump we’ve ever seen.
- OSU is a PHENOMENAL team.
- Chase Young is a problem, Justin Fields is also a problem.
- Jim Harbaugh, this is it dude. This is it JIM!
- Harbaugh, WE LOVE YOU BUD!
Mayo Spread Pick: Take Harbaugh to pull a wolf out his ass and cover (+9.0)
(5) Alabama vs. (15) Auburn (ALA -3.0)
- This is free money ladies and gentleman.
- Be my guest putting dollars on Bo Nix.
- Auburn is phenomenal against the spread this season at 7-3.
- Why would you not take Alabama? The QB situation? HA!
- I laugh at Alabama not covering -3.0 against anyone besides LSU.
- Anyways, Saban lost us all on this one.
Mayo Spread Pick: Take Saban to cover (-3.0) in fashion dude.
Jim Harbaugh’s Michigan Creme Brule Parlay
- Michigan (+9)
- Indiana (-6.5)
- Wisconsin (-2.5)
Nick Saban’s Pecan Square Parlay
- Alabama (-3.0)
- Oklahoma State (+13.5)
- South Carolina (+27.5)
- Georgia (-28.5)
Crumble Lovers’ Upset Apple Crumble
- Kansas State beats Iowa State in Bill Snyder Family Stadium. Iowa State CRUMBLES!
HTM Handbook Rule: Never Parlay North & South Teams.