Report: Colts Fans, “No Clue” Which Player’s Jersey to Buy

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Colts Jersey to buy

Who is Our QB Now?

What would you do if growing up, the Quarterback you got to root for was Peyton Manning? That is such a drag, right? But then you had to watch him go to Denver just to lead them to two Super Bowls and win one. Your life sucks. You Colt fans put in your dues though. After 13 years of the great Peyton Manning you had to deal with the likes of Curtis Painter & Dan Orlovsky for one whole season.

After one year of NFL agony, the Colts were gifted the biggest thing since sliced bread in Andrew Luck. He was a prototypical can’t miss product whose talent could only be out-shined by his brain. Even though he looks dumb as shit and sounds like he has a constant frog in his throat, he is one hell of a Quarterback. After a special year, where it looked like the Colts had finally surrounded him with an offensive line and a defense, he retired.

Colts Fans, Maybe a T.Y. Hilton Jersey?

Back to square one, Colts fans. Whose jersey are you going to buy and burn now? Quinten Nelson? Spare me. The only person that could make that number look good is him. Are you going to rock a T.Y. jersey? Not with those hamstrings, you aren’t. Maybe a Marlon Mack jersey? Is he even real? I’ve never seen a player do more and be talked about less. Do Colts fans even know that he is their running back? Probably not. Oh, I know. Go and get yourself a Jacoby Brissett jersey!

Maybe ask for one for Christmas, because we both know you can’t afford to spend $120 on a backup QB’s jersey, right? Hell no. You’re probably still paying off your Luck jerseys that you waited six years to buy. How about a Darius Leonard jersey? He is a must have for any closet collector. Did he even play this year? Fuck it. Just get that Adam Vinatieri jersey you’ve been wanting since 2006. He’ll probably play until he is 50 years old and still miss every other extra point while making 55-yard game winners. Wait, you can’t do that either….

Be thankful, Saints fans. We have done a lot of winning the past couple of years. Even though we lost last week to the 49ers… at least our star QB and franchise savior didn’t retire at 29. By gosh, at least we aren’t the Colts!

Who Dat!

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