Craig’s Checkered Flag Report: Texas Motor Speedway

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Craig's Checkered Flag Report

Its Yee fucking Haw on Checkered Flag Report, Texas Motor Speedway. Ya’ll ready to go FAST AS FUCK on this one and half mile Asphalt Quad-Oval?


We’re coming in hot in the Lone-star State for the O’Reilly Auto Parts 500. Trucks and X-FINITY behind us. The Big Bull Douche, Kyle Busch was cheating again. He came in first in both races but only walked away with one win because he failed post race inspection after the Xfinity Series.

Nevertheless, look for that Vegas boy to be running up in the front today in the Interstate Batteries car for Joe Gibbs Racing. My boy Chase Elliot will be starting in the back because of some pre inspection issues. We’re coming off the All-Star race which was a short track in Thunder Valley. Currently, about 67,000 thousand tickets for spectators. This will be the largest live sporting event to date since Bristol on Wednesday.

Apparently, everything is bigger in Texas. Be on the look-out for three or four wide and the engines are going to be cranked the fuck up because these boys are racing for playoff points. The infield ain’t open so Hank, Dale and Boomerhower will have to settle with social distancing in the stands or lighting up that Propane Pit from outside the Speedway.

Checkered Flag Update


We getting filthy in Jerry World, RIGHT NOW.

Craig’s Texas Trinkets

  • Propane & Propane Accessories
  • Tres Pack of LoneStar & six pack of Shiner if you can…
  • Some Weird Deep friend Oreo Corndog ( So you can catch your second wind)
  • LoneStar Beer ( CANS ONLY)
  • Cowboy Boots
  • A pack of Cowboy Killers (shorts only

George Strait on repeat.

1.George Straight- Drive

2.George Straight- Young Troubadour

3.George Straight- Amarillo By Morning

4.George Straight- All My Exe’s Live in Texas

5.George Straight- Ocean Front Property

Craig’s Checkered Flag Report: Texas Motor Speedway

Craig, From Lake Charles.

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