One of my favorite things to do is relive my life growing up through writing a Dad skit. You tend not to appreciate parenting until you can make comedy of it at a later time, however you decided to do it. I think one of the best fucking things about it all is that it is highly relatable. Everybody went through some shit similar to what you see in these skits. My Dad def watches the skits and told me I owe him money for it.
Also, let it be known…my Dad is a real ass mfer that was there for me when my Mom fell short. He is the true example of overcoming adversity to get custody of his son. Forever grateful, no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was when I was growing up he still my Dad and he raised me to be a solid fella. These vids got better as time went, because I got better at making them so just bare with the time window.
Hurricane Ida
All the lights were out for like 20+ days as Hurricane Ida rolled through Louisiana. This skit was pretty on par with what my Dad would’ve been up to at a time of crisis. He had eyes like a fucking owl, would observe anything that needed to be situated right away. Loved to delegate lol
The Hardware Store
My Dad never really was on me bout getting a job like talking about because he knew if I didn’t have a job that I’d be available to do shit around the house. This is a tad exaggerated, but all Dad’s wanna see us employed.
Camping
Any vacation with my Dad sounded suspect before it ever actually happened. First of all, my Dad didn’t go on vacation really ever so it was a wildcard just to hear the thought. I remember one time going to Disney World with my Dad and we stayed at the Days Inn. A trip I’ll never forget cause I was just being a bitch and ungrateful the entire time. But, other than that…we fished. We went fishing a ton when I was growing up and those are times I’ll never forget.
Spiderman
Telling my Dad what my plans were was always interesting. It was never just ok go have fun, it was usually a side question that had nothing to do with what I told him I had planned. If I said I was going to see Spider-Man he would correlate it to some sort of task I hadn’t done before hand. Dude always had 409 on em to clean whatever too. He didn’t drink, never did so any type of alcohol in the house stuck out like a sore thumb.
Devin: “Dad, can I go see Spider-Man tonight?”
Dad: “You think Spider-Man is flying around drinking beers?”
Chores
Had to have the trash taken out and room cleaned before I even thought of lifting a single finger to do anything else. One time, I forgot to make my bed and went off on my bike to play with some kids in the neighborhood. That turned out to be a massive mistake as my Dad came home and said I was punished from playing in my basketball game that night. He was all about the little things. Loved to tell me rake the leaves.
The Video Game
Look, nothing he hated more than coming home from a long day of work to see me on the XBOX. LOL, he just couldn’t take the visual. Him working his ass off and me chilling so fucking hard. Immediately found a task for me to complete to get me off the game.
Gambling
Dad never got to see me really in my gambling zone as I moved out when I was 17, but I imagine this is exactly how he’d react to seeing me gamble everyday in his house.
A List
Nobody was about to sit in his house and do nothing all day. If he felt like that was gonna be the case, he’d leave a list of things to do for me. I’ve seen it all, chore calendars you name it. Also, he called shit the wrong shit.
Ya Never Knew
Sometimes my Dad would come home at absurd times that I didn’t expect. As kids we like to think that we know the schedule of our parents, but he always kept me honest on his schedule. If I had a bunch of people over at the house smoking weed, he would be home in a second by just feeling that something was going on. My Dad always thought the Saints sucked and would never turn it around, so his optimism was low each year and they were never more important than church.
Wash The Cars
Every 7 days the vehicles needed to be washed. My Dad drove some wack ass shit too for as long as I can remember so washing his Saturn hatchback was always stupid to me. But, he swore by having these automobiles washed. Lotta times these things needed to be done before or immediately after the game on Sunday.
His Timing
If I was walking out the house to go do something super tight, he was usually pulling up with something on his mind. He wanted to do a life check before I went and did anything.
Going To Church
Bruh, I went to so much church as a kid. My Dad went to long church too, these services lasted hours and usually well into the Saints game. One church in the 9th ward would go from 10am-1pm then have lunch after. So basically instead of watching the Saints, I watched people catch the holy ghost, speak tongues and pass out on the floor. Any chance I had to get outta going to church was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.
Early Riser
He was always doing something in the morning. Running, praying, playing guitar, stretching, it was always something active at an absurd time in the morning. I’d leave the house sometimes and see him jogging around the neighborhood. Couldn’t just drive past em, had to converse.
Feeling Bad
One of the worst feelings in ya life is when you feel bad for not inviting ya Dad to something he wanted to do. Sometimes the authority as ya Dad gets in the way of him being a friend too. Few times in my life where I felt like I left my Dad out on something he would’ve been down to do. One of the most memorable times of my life was when he got me and him Saints season tickets in the nosebleed for the 2000-2001 Saints season. I watched Hakim fumble the ball against the Saints with my Dad, saw Kyle Turley throw a jets helmet to the stands with my Dad and witnessed Joe Horn pull the cell phone out with my Dad. Moments that last forever.
Finding Weed
Another moment that will last forever is the moment my Dad first found me smoking weed. He put everything in a ziplock and waited for me to come home. Listen, you couldn’t get NOTHING past my Dad. Weed, sneaking out the window, nothing worked. Even when I was smoking incense, he knew something was up. Walking in the house late at night he’d be sitting on the recliner waiting to talk to me when I got home. Which meant he would be able to look at my eyes and tell if I been smoking.
Errands
On the weekend, it was blue jeans and white tube socks for my Dad as he made sure shit was straight around the house. I’d wake up and he’d be singing in the living room, plotting out shit I could do for the day.
Christmas
My dad wasn’t too big on Christmas, he appreciated the Jesus part about the holiday the most. Sometimes we got gifts, sometimes we didn’t. He was always in the spirit, but in his own little way.
All these moments growing up I look back on and just smile/laugh cause I love the dude. What he did worked and yeah I’m not in jail, hooked on drugs or dead because of how he raised me. I firmly believe that, even if I didn’t agree with it at the time. I’m glad it happened the way it did.
Merry Christmas to all Dads.
HOLD IT.
