Florida Man has Florida Man problems
Florida is an absolute bizarre situation of a state. Think about the oddities that call Florida home: Snow Birds, Disney World, Nine Major League Sports Teams, Miami, The Florida Keys, People from Tallahassee, The Everglades, Beaches, Florida Man, and now Iguanas falling from the sky.
Yeah, you read that right. Iguanas are falling right out of the sky. Well, technically out of trees, but stay with me here. Could you imagine going to walk the dog and an overgrown lizard falls on you? Fuck that, man. I guess when you have Disney World in your state, karma hits you with iguanas and shit.
So Florida man (no one cares to know his real name) decides he’s going to drive around and round up iguanas. Lord knows his reasoning if he even has one. Iguanas go into hibernation when it gets cold. So this guy is out here cutting up, filling up his whip with tons of little reptiles. Florida Man was a little chilly, so he cranks up the heater, in his car, not his meth pipe, and these Jungle Chickens thaw out, putting him in a panic and he crashes his car.
I’ve been racking my brain to figure out what he was planning to do with the iguanas. Was he going to sell them, rob a store, eat them, feed his python? Who knows, it’s Florida. I guess the moral of the story is, don’t put frozen iguanas in your car. They come back to life!