Holders United: The Mayo Billy Heroman?

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Holders United: The Mayo Billy Heroman?

You could’ve never told me things would get this juicy in Holders United. Not this quickly, no fucking way. Personally, I’ve been in and out with my focus on this group, and essential things behind the scenes to keep this brand going in the right direction. Once this popped up on a thread, all that shit was dropped.

“Show yaself. I’m not trying to date anyone, but I may let you order me Uber eats for a titty pic #quarantine #mysterymayo
-Ambassador Ashlan

Who had the balls and audacity to send mayo women’s ambassador Ashlan flowers with what I’d call a confident note? Quickly, didn’t miss a fucking beat. We dealing with a one of a kind human.

Holders Unite To Figure It Out

Look, we have no shortage of suspicious members in this Facebook group. Where does one even start? This is like the cartoon network of real life flesh humans. I can only do my part in trying to narrow it down…

I’d like to address

Anyone who thinks it is really me? Go ahead and have a nice nap tomorrow at 10:00 AM. Waste more of ya valuable time, asshole.

I’m way to busy struggling for all this romantic tit grabbing shit.

Snow’s Potential Suspects: No particular order of significance.

  • Todd
    • This guy will always be a suspect in Holders United.
  • My web guy, Jay Rock. Haven’t heard from him in two days.
  • The “Joe Show” seems like a very solid guess here.
    • Joe use to call into HTM every single episode of Undressed. He was also a very active community member amongst the brand. Since the creation of Holders United? It’s the “No Show” and that concerns me. Wouldn’t surprise me to find out that this weenie has been scoping mayo honeys. He’s got the bread to throw on premium flowers as well…
A no show verbally since this tweet.
  • Donnie Re (The Italian Medallion)
    • Another serious option here. The 60+ year old full blooded Italian has been known not to hold his tongue. He will take any honey that gives him a sentence. However, the creativity in this particular situation worries me. Doesn’t quite sound like DRE.
Never got him that lunch. He never pays for lunch, why would he pay for flowers?
Still, I can’t rule this dick swinger out.

Exclusive Potentials

These fella’s really need to keep a low profile in my opinion. Whether they are the culprit or not…

  • Jua Moo
    • Jua is my fucking guy. However, I know he falls for love on random occasions. Moo was caught on Undressed in a moment not too long ago…This could be hazardous for his case.
Fuck, Moo…..
  • Randall…From Mandall….Ville…
    • Only, because he has no relationship info on his profile.
    • Hasn’t commented much on the topic…
  • Michael Gagliano
    • Now Gagzilla probably would’ve just fucking told us by now. The Chalmette Pony bets man doesn’t hide in bushes. But, Ashlan is fine as fuck so this could change any man’s game plan. Including a traditional man from the parish.
  • Steve from Kenner
    • I’ll leave this guy completely blurred out in the blog. However, he is my top choice for who sent the flowers. I have no more information on Steve from Kenner other than I have him on several social media platforms. He is a PHENOMENAL guy. He just really loves pussy.

Holders, the time is now to investigate. Real G’s move in silence like Vagina. Cause that should be a “j’ in vagina.

🌻This year has been amazing. I’m not being facetious. The greys, wrinkles, freckles, extra pounds, extra shifts, lost…

Posted by Ashlan Coffin on Monday, June 8, 2020
Ambassador Ashlan
Holders United


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