Jay Cutler Would Like To Smoke Darts And Be Alone…

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Jay Cutler would like to be alone.

Jay Cutler made the first move on Kristin Cavallari ten years ago. At that time, the Bears Quarterback had gotten in touch with Cavallari’s publicist and asked if he could fly her out to Chicago for a night out. Kristin was so effin busy at that time, she had to decline. She also thought Jay was a tool bag for his approach at getting that first date. Psh, nothing for a cool and composed Smokin’ Jay. Just swinging his dick on the internet, hand picking who he’d like to fly out to the great city of Chicago. Not for a good time, but for a Jay time. A year later Cavallari went to a preseason Bears game, met Jay Cutler and the rest is history.

Jay gives more “bye’s” than “hi’s”

The rest was history until today, as Cavallari and Cutler have compromised on a world shattering divorce. Yep, I am so sorry you have to break this news to ya ole lady. But, like Kurt Angle told you once, It’s true. Everyone should’ve known that this marriage would have some toxic baggage when the reality show came out. Couples and reality shows just don’t fucking work out. Honestly, Jay just probably wants to smoke cigs and be alone.

R.I.P Jay Cutler….

This is a huge blow for Cutler, as I am nothing but interested to witness his next move. Really hoping it won’t be plastered at Florabama, pissing on the top floor, while talking shit to some lady’s boyfriend. He can put his name back in the mix for a football gig? We need Jay to stay relevant. Taking him off of television is not a fucking option. The dude is worthy of the tube. What about growing his own pot farm? That would be an incredible Jay Cutler branding opportunity. Kristin wouldn’t have put up with all that shit. Now is the time for Jay to do Jay things.

No, I have no clue what happened…

Nobody will ever know what truly transpired here for this ball of excitement to fall apart like it did, but what we do know is Jay Cutler is back on the fucking market. We also know that Kristin Cavallari’s inbox looks like God’s email in the form of Abercrombie bro overflow right now. All bullshit aside we have one nagging concern as this tragedy continues to unravel. Who gets the television show? Certainly, the entire world watches to see Smokin’ Jay fuck shit up. Keep us posted “E” News….

Legends never die, but bad times do…

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