Joe “Big Balls” Burrow, The Only Joe That Matters

Share on facebook
Share on twitter

That’s his name

Joey “Big Balls” Burrow is the name you want to hear on Saturdays while you are putting together breakfast before you dedicate the entire day to LSU football. Here is a guy who carved his way into a starting role at a program that needed his ass the most. Joe didn’t have a chance to be Joe at Ohio State. Because of that he packed his bags, waved bye to Haskins, probably called Urban a dweeb, and headed on down to LSU.  “Devin, where is the greatest college football town on earth?” Bud, it’s in Baton Rouge where all passing came to die in recent years. That was until Joe Burrow showed face as a Tiger in 2018 and led the Tigers to a 10-3  record with a bowl blasting of UCF. It was towards the end of that season where we started to see the transformation of Joe Burrow to Joe “Big Balls” Burrow.

Transforming into “Big Balls” Burrow

Joey Balls finished 2018 with 2,894 yards of grass passing, 399 yards of grass on ground, and 23 total zone invasions.  For all you casuals that would translate to 2,894 yards passing, 399 yards rushing, and 23 total touchdowns.  Keep up with the mayo.  Burrow only had 16 zone invasions through the air with nine of those 16 coming in the final three games of the Tigers 2018 run.  Those final three games is where Joe Burrow started to grow beyond what we as viewers could even fathom.  Since that Rice game in mid- November 2018, Joe Burrow has answered the fucking bell as the Tiger’s commander.  Going from Burrow to Big Balls, Joe has thrown 31 zone invasions through air in that eight game span, Hold The Mayo. 

By the way…

Burrow has increased his completion percentage in tremendous fashion from 57 percent to 78 percent. 

Joe Goes Full Heisman…

I’d also be a complete dumbass if I didn’t mention that Big Balls is on his merry way to becoming one of two Tigers to ever win the Heisman Trophy.  Burrow has been cooking with blazing grease and it seems as if this will thrust him into Joe stardom going forward.

Burrow smells blood..

Joe has the opportunity to become one of the most legendary Joe’s in college football history, and maybe even in sports history.  The war zone begins this Saturday in Death Valley when the Florida Gators arrive to presumably receive the most royal Burrow treatment.  The legend of Big Balls will grow mighty if Burrow plows through the Gators, State, and Auburn the next three games.  That will lead Burrow into that shit hole in Tuscaloosa for a moment that would define Burrow for the rest of his life. 

Burrow could become…

If Burrow can piss on Alabama’s parade and beat Saban he will become the most significant Joe in LSU history, and certainly Louisiana sports history.  This will also thrust Joe Burrow into elite Joe Tiers in sports history.

Joe Tiers

Small Joes

  • 1. Joe Johnson (7x NBA All-Star)
  • 2. Joe Mauer (6x MLB All-Star, 2009 AL MVP)
  • 3. Joe Haden (2x Pro Bowl Corner, Former Gator)
  • 4. Joe Flacco (Super Bowl Champion, that’s about it)

Average Joes

  • 1. Joe Torre (4x World Series Champion, inducted in Baseball Hall of Fame)
  • 2. Joe Frazier (Former World Champion Boxer, Beat Ali)
  • 3. Mean Joe Greene (4x Super Bowl Champion, 10x Pro Bowler, 5x First Team All-Pro)

Premium Joes

  • 1. Joe Montana (4x Super Bowl Champion, 3x Super Bowl MVP, 2x NFL MVP, etc.)
  • 2. Joe Buck (Joe Buck is NFL commentary)
  • 3. Joe Paterno (409 wins, 2 National Championships)
  • 4. Joe Dimaggio (9x World Series Champion, 3x AL MVP, 13x All-Star)

Where does Burrow fit in?

That will be up to Burrow the next couple of weeks and ultimately leading into his now promised NFL career.  The legend of Joe “Big Balls” Burrow continues this Saturday in Death Valley.  I can tell you this, he isn’t no average Joe, pal.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter