Mayo Man Seen Going To Orange Beach And Leaving…

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Mayo Man Seen going and leaving orange beach.

There was a mayo man seen last night burning and turning in a 2014 F-150 on his way to orange beach. Well documented in last night’s blog, a couple of stops were made along the journey. In fact, the final trip time was around five hours total. One full night slept in a top bunk later, I rose today with a vibe that couldn’t be denied.

That was until a couple of things happened that would prove to be significantly eye opening for me. One was just a fucking tragedy.

  1. Burnt the fuck out of the top of my feet laying down on a pool chair and falling asleep with no SPF 1000 on my paws
  2. Couldn’t get drunk. Don’t even like alcohol anymore on pushy to drink situations. Reconfirmed that today. Rather smoke a joint and a pack of cigs on a day of vacation.
  3. Found out I’m not actually 29 years old. Which means, I also haven’t been 28 for the last year like I’ve told every fucking person that I’ve come across. Which is a ton of people. Honestly, I feel like the last year I talked about my age more than any other year.

Real age: 28
Devin’s dog’s age: 8

UFC On The Tube

After waking up from a nap and finding out my real age, it was time to find something entertaining to do at night while I sat in a condo with 20 family members. I decided to introduce them to face blasting and block knocking with Dustin Poirier on the card.

I knew this fight would be worth stopping everything I was fucking doing to watch. Incredible night cap…

FOTY.
Book it.

Mayo Man Seen Leaving Gulf Shores…
I’m burning rubber back to SpreadQuarters at 8:00 AM sharp. I can’t be away from mayo this long.

HOLD IT.

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