There was a mayo man seen last night burning and turning in a 2014 F-150 on his way to orange beach. Well documented in last night’s blog, a couple of stops were made along the journey. In fact, the final trip time was around five hours total. One full night slept in a top bunk later, I rose today with a vibe that couldn’t be denied.
That was until a couple of things happened that would prove to be significantly eye opening for me. One was just a fucking tragedy.
- Burnt the fuck out of the top of my feet laying down on a pool chair and falling asleep with no SPF 1000 on my paws
- Couldn’t get drunk. Don’t even like alcohol anymore on pushy to drink situations. Reconfirmed that today. Rather smoke a joint and a pack of cigs on a day of vacation.
- Found out I’m not actually 29 years old. Which means, I also haven’t been 28 for the last year like I’ve told every fucking person that I’ve come across. Which is a ton of people. Honestly, I feel like the last year I talked about my age more than any other year.
Real age: 28
Devin’s dog’s age: 8
UFC On The Tube
After waking up from a nap and finding out my real age, it was time to find something entertaining to do at night while I sat in a condo with 20 family members. I decided to introduce them to face blasting and block knocking with Dustin Poirier on the card.
I knew this fight would be worth stopping everything I was fucking doing to watch. Incredible night cap…
Mayo Man Seen Leaving Gulf Shores…
I’m burning rubber back to SpreadQuarters at 8:00 AM sharp. I can’t be away from mayo this long.