Mayo Spreads: Let’s Gamble With A Packed House For UFC 261

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UFC 261 Gives Ya Everything

Back to knockouts and cotton candy come this Saturday for UFC 261. 15,000 actual humans will enter the VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville to watch 13 fights barring any cancels last minute. They’ll be given a mask, but don’t have to wear it once inside the arena. Tickets include fine print that notifies fans that Dana White isn’t fucking responsible if ya contract COVID-19. UFC 261 is SOLD OUT.

Three Title Fights

So, this is why I fuck with the UFC. Constantly working to make the fans happy and give them what they want. However, Usman versus Masvidal 2? Not quite what the fans wanted and unfortunately for all Jorge fans, homie is gonna pay and get paid for this wasteful main event. One guy has 14 losses, the other guy has just one. Don’t fade that simple stat.

Masvidal isn’t the one to do it.

Just being honest, I’ll start with that fight.

  • Usman wins by KO/TKO
  • Take the u/4.5 rounds

In fact, I just may be a little tired of Masvidal after this next loss. At 36 years old, he’s just fighting some dawgs that he won’t beat in a title fight. This is surely his last chance at gold. A MIRACLE would have to happen for him to walk out of Jacksonville the Welterweight champ.

Next on my chump list.

Chris Weidman

Don’t even wait till this weekend to place this wager. Actually, just run and place it now that Chris Weidman does not win this fucking fight. I’m not sure what he been blending up in his blender, but the fella sounds super confident considering dude got KO’d three times in a row only to put on a slop fest fight his last fight in August of 2020.

Uriah that dude in this fight.

Like nobody wants to really fight this dude and what happens when nobody wants to fight ya? The UFC calls up Uriah Hall! Who might I mention, has looked rather stellar his last two. Don’t think for a second a revival is in store for Chris Weidman. He is the only one who thinks that at this point.


This guy smoking sticks.
  • Uriah Hall to win (EVEN)
  • Take the u/2.5 rounds

Some Other Mayo Selections

Valentina needs to show me something fantastic. Not saying she hasn’t, but the hype around this woman is incredible and always has been. But, I haven’t seen her do nothing to make me rave over. Show me this type shit again if ya the assassin everybody says.

Just gimme the u/4.5 rounds in this one.

Something tells me be safe.

Zhang over Rose

Weili Zhang is about to most likely whoop the piss outta Rose Namajunas. I’ll just leave it at that without getting into any politics at all. I’m taking Weili Zhang to win straight up -190 odds.

Crute is taking out Anthony Smith and it’s sad for me to say. Smith is such a nice fella and good for the UFC, but he ain’t beating 25 year old Jimmy Crute this weekend. I’m taking Crute to win straight up (-190) and to win by TKO/KO. Don’t even think about it.

Take Brendan Allen

Brendan Allen, the Rich Clementi product, is looking to avenge his latest loss and he will do just that against Karl Roberson. Look for the submission prop in this one and Allen to win straight up as insurance. Allen will get this fight to the ground and that’ll be where Karl Roberson has trouble.

I’ll have some more mayo spreads as time goes.


You can’t drive ya vehicle with no preparation whatsoever. It needs to be serviced and taken care of so ya don’t blow the son of a bitch up. Head to Midas on Canal Street and ask for Vince DiVincent. He’s gonna take care of ya vehicle and get ya back on the road a citizen again.

I’ll be back on this blog.


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