The obvious depression like feeling in the air is flowing as we ecstatically kick off NFL Conference Championship week with some spreads on the table. If ya can imagine what the tone of that first statement sounds like, then we are on the same page.
One sad and reluctant tone. It’s like drinking 17 beers and pushing to make it to 20 for no good damn reason. When I tell ya I want nothing to do with these pigskin wagers, it cannot be emphasized enough.
However, suddenly a roman candle spark of fire was actually just lit under my ass. In bizarre fashion everything has changed just like that. You’ve never read a book that turned that quick. This book turns.
I’ll now present ya with a non-fiction story before we lay this table out for grub and returns. Make ya own judgement.
Mayo Spreads will finish strong and with passion stomping on the throats of these wagers. Leave ya sorrows in the pantry.
Let’s eat.
Bucs @ Packers
Lemme start off by saying it was hard for me to somewhat disregard Aaron Rodgers and his greatness. Unfortunately, nowhere near the amount of fans will be there this Sunday as they have been historically. Lastly, Tom Brady is playing legend ball and has a run game that looks to be only getting better. This to me, is a prime scenario to make a few bucks. Don’t bet against Tom Brady now as the Bucs have the better team all around. Haven’t even said the name “Devin White” yet either. Does that scare ya?
Bucs +3
Bills @ Chiefs
If there is anything even remotely wrong with Patrick Mahomes anything I’m about to say does not matter. Now, let’s move forward. The Bills fan’s joyous, arrogant, and insanely ignorant run will come to an end this Lord’s Day via way too much fucking team to handle. I’m expecting a full blown Kansas City Chief ass whoopin’ to take place in this one, see ya later.
Also, look for the Josh Allen theme park ride to take a big ole turnover dip. Congrats to a blue collar city (supposedly) making it this far and I hope their fans find joy in throwing each other through flaming tables and kicking each other in the nuts once the journey has concluded.
Chiefs -3
Sticking with the routine here and parlaying both picks.
Over/Under
- o/51 on the Bucs/Packers
- o/54 on the Bills/Chiefs
PROP TARTS
HTM Undressed
Left the door open for ya last night on Wide Open Wednesday in the jar. Holders choose what the piss they wanna discuss and mayo just picks up the phone. If ya missed it, catch it.
“Left the door open for ya”
How’s ya insulation at the crib? I’ll be honest when I tell ya mine fucking sucks. The phone call for improvement is going to Insulation Installers because I know these dudes personally and the work is nothing short of professional and clean.
985-273-8499
God bless ya and ya wagers.
HOLD IT.
