Last week on paper published wasn’t so bad, but NFL Week 3 is gonna be me like it’s year 2000 again. I’m not satisfied or impressed with the outing last week because I fucked it all up with some greedy parlays and props. Finishing 5/8 on spread/ML picks is encouraging, but it was tarnished by pure stupidity and that’s what had me at the curb w/ the man again.
The Panthers and Texans will kickoff this week's #NFL action tonight. Which Week 3 game are you most excited for? pic.twitter.com/KVBG3Ql2Sf
— Real Take Sports (@RealTakeSports) September 23, 2021
(last week on mayo spreads, click here)
Let’s Set The Table
We gonna start cooking tonight. I like the Panthers -8 against a team led by some dude that just isn’t gonna get the job done or even come close to getting the job done at Quarterback.
Davis Mills gets his first career NFL start tonight as the Texans take on the Panthers.
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 23, 2021
Since 2016, quarterbacks making their first career start on Thursday night own a 5-1 record. pic.twitter.com/fAUU6uh6bV
In a mind blowing turn of events, Sam Darnold is currently in a nice little groove at QB for the Panthers. I’m fucking sold that he will take care of business against this mess of a Texans team that has covered the last two weeks. Let’s go Joe Brady and Sammy D, carve these clowns up.
Mayo Selection: Panthers -8
Buffalo Smokes Em
Come on bruh, Buffalo has no choice but to continue their flow after beating the shit outta Miami and beat the shit outta this Washington Football Team. If they are really contenders, the Bills will win by more than 7 points. Taylor Heinicke proved to be human last Thursday night throwing a critical interception to lose the game.
Josh Allen is due for a breakout game.
— Mike Catalana (@MikeCatalana) September 22, 2021
Allen's stats for last 4 games going back to playoffs.
🏈236 yds on 58% passing 5.6 Y/A
🏈6TD passes
🏈10 sacks
🏈3 turnovers
🏈Passer rating 83.5
🏈Bills offense 21 ppg.
Does the breakout happen Sunday against Washington? pic.twitter.com/nrxI4lppwH
Buffalo is at home, idk man I’m just thinking this is one of my best picks I can present this weekend. Josh Allen goes the fuck off.
Mayo Selection: Bills -7.5
The Fucking Raiders
Holy shit, this team is fucking nice. It was do or die this year in a Gruden era that has been nothing short of a mediocre disaster prior to this season. Welp, the now Vegas Raiders have come out swinging their dicks all over the field. Baltimore and Pittsburgh have both been victims of Derek Carr’s productivity and when Derek is productive, the Raiders are dangerous.
Only QBs w/ 300+ passing yards in each of their first two games:
— PFF (@PFF) September 23, 2021
🚀Derek Carr
🚀Justin Herbert
🚀Patrick Mahomes pic.twitter.com/20Sn6gmwc3
Derek slinging, Raiders are at home, gimme them fellas to cover against a Tua Tagivaloa-less Miami Dolphins squad.
Mayo Selection: Raiders -4
Brady or LA Staffy?
I wanna make this as little rocket science as possible. Tom Brady is on some different shit right now. Some elderly, prolific shit. He’s telling folks the game is way softer today in interviews and that just tells me he’s feeling himself. Rightfully, the man has thrown 9 touchdowns in two games. Antonio Brown is out and that doesn’t matter at all.
.@TomBrady is actually off to a better start this season as a 44-year-old than his historic 2007 MVP season 😳 pic.twitter.com/qTANxsom5v
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) September 23, 2021
What matters is Tom Brady playing good enough to outlast one of those ole fashion shootouts on offense as he usually does. I’m picking Brady and the Bucs.
Mayo Selection: Bucs -1
Saints/Pats OVER!
Taking the week off investing in my home team to win, but rather counting on two gun slingers to show up and make it a shootout.
The only thing better than a Jameis Winston TD is the sideline mood after 😂
— Neer Ray (@NeerRayNFL) September 16, 2021
Never change @Jaboowins
🎥 @NFL | #Saints pic.twitter.com/rLGunBjtGj
Jameis Winston versus Mac Jones in New England sounds like a game that’ll certainly go over 42.5 points. I’m expecting to see a little more Taysom, but the way Payton uses him in the regular season historically that should mean that he’s gonna get up the field.
I wanna know what the following people were up to at the time of fire:
— MickeyLoomisGM (@GmLoomis) September 21, 2021
– Roger Goodell
– Bill Vinovich
– Chris Simms
– Junior Galette
– Mike Thomas
– Gregg Williams
– JEREMY SHOCKEY
– Taysom (even though he put it out)
– Roddy White
Mickey ⚜️
Not asking for a zillion points here, just looking for Jameis to light it up…the field not the dome and not literally just figuratively.
Mayo Selection: Saints/Pats o/42.5 points
NFL Week 3
— Hold The Mayo (@snowlikejonn) September 24, 2021
Mayo Spreads 🍽
🏈Bills -7.5
🏈Bucs -1
🏈Raiders -4
🏈Panthers -8
Left Over
🏈Saints/Pats o/42.5
Table set, let’s eat.
Parlay Pudding
NFL Week 3
— Hold The Mayo (@snowlikejonn) September 23, 2021
Parlay Pudding 🥄
🏈Panthers ML
🏈Bills ML
🏈Raiders ML
All to win, all for us.
Can’t get outta here without providing something to nibble on after the main course. I’ll leave ya with this Parlay Pudding and be back with some prop tarts on Sunday morning.
- Panthers ML
- Bills ML
- Raiders ML
Peep mayo on Twitter and keep ya eyes peeled for UFC Mayo Spreads where I’m almost guaranteed to give ya fantastic intel.
For the common folks who work at home and the pissed off streamers who can’t even get an opportunity to show face because of these dollar grabbers, this shirt is for you.https://t.co/zCnOgCbuQW pic.twitter.com/uriCrq5skc
— Hold The Mayo (@snowlikejonn) September 23, 2021
As always, Mayo Spreads is presented by Midas on Canal street. Head over with ya four wheels and get that thing looked at. Don’t let ya vehicle blow up, grab ya keys and show up to Midas on Canal street.
Let em know mayo sent ya over.


HOLD IT.