Mayo Spreads: The NFL Death Race Has Begun

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Mayo Spreads The NFL Death Race

Don’t even look at the overlooked as the NFL death race has initiated and punctually the NFL mayo spreads follow not far behind. Ya had 17 weeks to show some respect to the great one in Drew Brees, but anyways that topic alone could produce 1000 pages from mayo.

Drew has entered the playoffs.

Welcome to Hold The Mayo Wager World. Ain’t no by the bookin’ around this village. After a more than impressive college football season, mayo is looking to finish with utter determination. Which means things gotta shake and it starts with these Buffalo fucking Bills.

Let’s talk about my heart.

Long John Rivers Heads To Buffalo

First of all first, Fuck those Bills fans. I will never forget the 1000-1 twitter thread war I had with these fellas at midnight two weeks ago. Not a soul in New Orleans there to speak up. Heads are BLOWING up.

I believe in this mothafucka, I do.
& you should consider…

Phillip Rivers has saddled his horse, 11 children, and ole lady into Buffalo looking to pull his eternally reproducing cock out on this Bills movement. Ya think Phillip ain’t tired of losing? Something has to shake and I’m here to announce it or die by it.

Mayo Spread Selection: Colts +6.5 HIT.

Tom Brady Will Crush

another week of glory for Tom Brady is ahead.
Drew Brees waits another week to crush a legends soul three times in one season after a team like BUFFALO only could defeat him three times in 20 years.

Chase Young is the soul reason this game could go south for those depressed and needy Bucs. Tom Brady gonna most likely and I mean almost certainly tear these fellas a new asshole. Alex Smith doesn’t have what he had in San Fran talent wise anymore to have an epic game changing day. He just don’t.

Mayo Spread Selection: Bucs -7.5 HIT.

Lamar Against DH

Absolutely disgusting to hear folks say Lamar Jackson is an average quarterback at this point. It’s a stupid fucking take.

Just accept his unique way of taking over a football game and leading a team to the playoffs. The Titans are fucking overrated man. Tannehill played just slightly less better than last year and Derrick Henry long ago established that he will run for a zillion yards on any defense. That has gotten them 5-5 the last ten games and honestly Baltimore is just on fire right now.

Mayo Spread Selection: Ravens -3.5

Long Overdue

Tears could be shed over 70+ thousand Louisiana locals not being able to pack the Superdome to watch DA BEARS get mollywhopped right back to Chicago. Let us not forget that tradition over in Chicago has not treated New Orleans too kind.

  • 2006 NFC Championship Loss
    • Bears fans make brutal signs, launch snowballs at folks, and shout out vulgarities to the who dat nation.
  • Mike Ditka’s debacle in the late 90s after having one of the most infamous runs with DA BEARS in the 80s. One big waste of time and a quitter.
  • Big Cat saying he’d tat his ribs with Drew Brees passing record if the Saints won the Superbowl this year.
    • Please instead, tat your ass bro.
Chicago grown risk.

The Saints will prevail in fashion behind the greatest fucking quarterback to ever live. No disrespect to Tom Brady, but if war started today I’m headed to the Brees Bunker for instruction and duty, bro.

Mayo Spread Selection: Saints -9.5

Cleveland Has A Problem

Breaking fuckery outta Cleveland as they will not have their head coach for the first playoff game since the stone age for the fellas. Unfortunately for mayo that Browns spread had already been locked in on Monday morning. Do I feel horrible? No, Baker will do everything in his will to cover. But, things look ugly via pandemic. The Steelers loss to the Bengals, Washington, and Browns in December. That happened.

Mayo Spread Selection: Browns +5.5 (buy one point)

The NFL Mayo Spreads

Table Recap

  • Colts +6.5 against Bills
  • Bucs -7.5 against Washington
  • Ravens -3.5 against Titans
  • Saints -9.5 against Bears
  • Browns +5.5 (buy one) against Steelers
  • Fuck that LA/SEA game

Parlay Puddin’

  • Colts +7.5 (buy one)
  • Bucs win
  • Ravens win
  • Saints win

Prop Tarts

The "Yes Lawd" shirt by HTM.
Snag one now they just arrived. (click here)

In Conclusion

I refuse to wager on Seattle and Los Angeles. They are both really fucking fugazi to me right now and I hate losing to California when they wake up every now and then. The table has been set and the death race has begun in the NFL. Most certainly for the who dat nation and Drew Brees whom look to prove the entire world wrong moving forward.

Ya can’t really move forward comfortably on the road without having ya vehicle serviced and maintained.

Click the yellow Midas to schedule an appointment and tell em mayo sent ya over to get ya life together.

Look no further than Midas On Canal to handle all those worries. Don’t spend all ya money wagering when ya ain’t changed ya oil yet. Ya know?

HOLD IT.

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