Morning Wood News: Jade Grobler Won’t Make It By For Thanksgiving

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Jade Grobler won't make it this Thanksgiving.

Nope, Jade Grobler won’t be heading over for sweet potato casserole. Ya got a better chance of getting called to ride the Tom Turkey float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.

Ain’t happening captain.
Tom Turkey (Macy’s Parade)

Is this ya first ever Morning Wood News?

I’m So Fucking Jaded

Like what in the blue mash potatoes happened for me to just start following Jade Grobler. Born in South Africa and currently blowing fish chips off tables everywhere in Australia.

“People only like me cause of my ass.”
Jade Grobler

One more thing before we get to some interesting tids on Jade. This woman wouldn’t last a fucking day in Chalmette. They’d have to call the national guard. I’m dead ass serious them folks would be busting through the glass at Gerald’s donuts.

Jade won’t make it to the Irish-Italian parade boys…

Jade Grobler Tids

Here goes some unique tiddy biddies I was able to track down about the South African smoke show.

Sheesh, lemme keep typing.
  • Born in South Africa.
  • 1million followers on Instagram
  • follows 768 folks
  • 234.7K followers on TikTok.
  • Bang Energy Drink ELITE promoter.
    • There goes Bang Energy again with another chart topping instagram model. Who is doing it better than Bang? Sofia Bevarly, Jade Grobler…drink bang.
  • Currently modeling for Untamed Roamer which is a travel and content magazine. She seems to be the only model they have and honestly if they wanna cut cost during the pandemic this solo option is JUST FINE.
  • Only Fans? You betcha. (click)

Any asshole that subscribes to Jade’s only fans will get a free phone screensaver for his commitment.

NOT coming over for Thanksgiving.
Jade Grobler

In Conclusion

Nothing. There is nothing to conclude here other than what we knew when the photo was clicked. Jade Grobler will certainly not be in town anytime soon and you’d prolly choke on a whole shrimp mirliton before you even said hello to miss Grobler.

HTM Undressed is live tonight for a special Thanksgiving eve episode in SpreadQuarters. Call me a straight bitch if there isn’t a small spread of grub readily available.


Big Chief Vaping is going off for Black Friday. Here goes the full list of deals you can snag on Friday if ya interested in blowing juice ya should check out this menu below.

Chalmette and New Orleans


Share on facebook
Share on twitter