Aight folks, we’re a solid month into Quarantine #SZN, and some of you might be doing fine with things. If you are… then this isn’t for you. This is for my struggle bus crew. No need to panic, I’m here to give you some fire tips and tricks to thrive during Quarantine #SZN.
Quarantine Tip 1: Pick 3’s (*insert 3 fire emojis*)
First and foremost, the greatest thing to come out of Quarantine #SZN has to be the Pick 3’s. Hands down the greatest debates since MJ vs LeBron have been sparked by Pick 3’s. Now if you’re looking to get your social media poppin’, look no further than a solid Pick 3. If you’ve been living under a rock and have no clue what a Pick 3 is; at it’s core it’s usually 9 pictures of people/places/things that have something in common with each other. The big catch is… wait for it… YOU CAN ONLY PICK 3. I know I know, it’s a crazy concept, but I don’t make the rules I just follow ’em. The only other rule to the Pick 3 is to comment/quote the tweet with the 3 you pick, and follow it up with a comment about how everybody else’s opinion is completely wrong. For example…
– “If you not picking 3, 5, and 7 then what the fuck you doing with your life *insert laughing face emoji*”
Quarantine Tip 2: Bingo Cards
Your Grandma’s favorite… with a TWIST. That’s right, everybody’s seen a bingo card. But you haven’t seen them like this! What makes these bingo cards unique is that they’re filled with very generic things that most people have done. The best part about the bingo cards is that you personally get to fill them out and post it on your story so everybody can look at it for 2 seconds, become disinterested, and click right on past it.
-“My social distancing game is on LOCK. Did somebody say BINGO?!!!”
Quarantine Tip 3: Ask Pro Athletes when they think sports are coming back
ATTENTION all Sports Reporters. If there is content I just can’t get enough of right now, it’s asking an athlete when he/she thinks their respective sport will return to play. I luvvvvv that shit. Give me more. Mike Trout is totally an expert on the matter, has input on the decision, and is in discussion with the CDC and MLB executives on the reg. He will definitely have a definitive answer on the matter and break the news on your platform like he’s fucking Dr. Anthony Fauci. Like do you really think the NBA is going to give inside/breaking info to Trae Young to release after he just won a 2k game against Harrison Barnes??? (no disrespect to Trae he’s super icy) Absolutely, of-course he’s going to give you information and insight you haven’t heard a million times already. HAMMER THIS QUESTION. I will not rest until every athlete gets asked this question. #HashTagAskProAtheletesWhenTheyThinkSportsAreComingBack
So there ya have it. That’s really all you need to do to stay poppin’ *fire emoji*. Also, I’m not one for big introductions, but I’m Trox and I’ll be attempting to write some funny/not funny blogs on here. Also, also, Skittles changed their green flavor from Lime to Green Apple in 2013 and we just don’t talk about that enough as a society. Let that sink in….