Taiwan This For Size

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I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not a huge baseball guy. If I do “cheer” for a team, it’s the Red Sox and that’s only because growing up, Nomar Garciaparra was my favorite player.

Besides hating the shit out of the Yankees, the sport is just kinda boring to me since everyone stopped juicing. If It weren’t for my dynasty of a fantasy baseball squad (Hello Trout, Vlad Jr., Tatis Jr., and Giancarlo), I’d virtually have no interest outside of watching Brice Harper. Matter of fact, it’s time someone just said it.

Football has surpassed baseball as the “national pastime” in America.

Anyways, every once in a while something happens on the old diamond that peaks my interest. Usually it’s an epic bat flip or a brawl caused by someone charging the mound. However yesterday evening, I witnessed one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen in baseball.

And it wasn’t even involving the MLB playoffs.

Nope, instead I’m going to take you down to Taiwan. Yes, what is probably the greatest play I’ve ever seen actually took place in the Chinese Professional Baseball League which is the highest league in China.

Now when you think of Taiwan, you more than likely don’t think of baseball. You probably think of beef noodles, HTC (the phone company), or the nighttime markets. Even if you do think of baseball, you’ll probably think of the movie Mr. Baseball (and you’d be fucking wrong b/c that was Japan) or Taiwanese MLB exports like Chien Ming-Wang or Chen Wei-Yin.

But that is all about to change.

You see last night in the bottom of the 6th inning, CF Lin Che-Hsuan of the Fubon Gurdians robbed an opposing player of a HR. Anytime this happens on a baseball field, it’s a great fucking play. However, this one wasn’t like any of your “routine HR robs” that you see every month on ESPN or MLBtv.

All good but not as good as Lin-Sanity.

Nope. This play trumps all of those. Mr. Lin (Chinese names are backwards) actually “slow rolled” a HR robbing play and fooled everybody, including the dude who just thought he dropped a go ahead bomb.

The look on your boys face when he reaches the dug out.

That entire clip is glorious for so many reasons:

  • Your boy thinks he drops a nuke and starts his HR trot.
  • Chinese announcers get their enthusiastic calls on in a way that would make Spanish soccer guys proud
  • Mr. Lin slowly walks away from wall and throws the “robbed” ball in like nothing fucking happened
  • Batter gives the patented double High 5 to the bat boy as he touches home plate.
  • Batter finishes his celebration and while pointing to the stands is met with some confused faces in his dugout
  • His face then turns absolutely flush white
  • Little Guardians manager has the smuggest shit eating grin and slow claps his OF like he drew up this exact situation in practice
  • Guardian dugout goes batshit crazy
  • Pan back to batter who still looks like he saw a ghost & throws up surrender cobra
  • Umpire is now looking around like he doesn’t know what the fuck just happened
  • OF finally acknowledges how bad ass he is, mildly celebrates, and offers a tip of the cap for the ages
  • Opposing manager is about to call the league, the police, or the Triads
Savage department, Randy speaking.

Absolutely Epic All Around.

And there you have it. Just when you thought the CPBL’s biggest moment of the year would be the first professional league to start their season or letting the fans actually attend games, your boy Lin (who actually played in the Red Sox farm system) steals the got damn show. You might wanna file this memory in the “Greatest shit to ever happen in the CPBL” category because nothing will likely ever surpass it. You can spend the next few decades watching the CPBL (I know I won’t) and it’ll only be a waste of time. Get this dude a statue.

Hold It.

Taiwan this for Size

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