The Bachelor-Rumble In The Jungle

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The Bachelor Review

We’re still in Cleveland, Ohio, at the train wreck of a rose ceremony where drama has remained center stage. The whole did Alayah and Victoria P. know each other fiasco has taken over the rose ceremony AKA Mykenna is not getting any time AGAIN with Peter. Not only are the women attacking Alayah, but they are also beating Peter up over his decision to give her a rose on the group date she crashed. Peter caves and decides to send Alayah home. The producers clearly used her for drama, and they owe her big time! The least they can do is bring her to Paradise so she can redeem herself and find love. Your move, producers.

Peter Does Damage Control

Inside the cocktail party, Peter tries to redeem himself with the remaining ladies, but honey, they are not buying it. The eye rolls and RBFs these girls are throwing his way are stone cold. Peter is tasked with doing some serious damage control during the cocktail party. AND MYKENNA FINALLY GOT TIME WITH PETER! Praise to the Bachelor gods! Going into the rose ceremony, I don’t think any lady feels secure; the drama was taking center stage is clearly starting to take a toll on them all.

Peter’s Quest For Love Goes International

At the rose ceremony, Peter sends three ladies home, Kirra, Deandra, and Savannah. We did not get to see Peter make a connection with any of these ladies, so I have to say, they will not be missed. I’m not even sure any of these ladies stood out enough to be given a spot on Paradise this summer. Peter tells the girls that they are going to be traveling to Costa Rica; let’s hope they all leave the drama in the USA as Peter’s quest to find love goes international.

Peter’s Love Story Takes Flight

The first date card did not even make it to the ladies at the Springs Resort in Costa Rica before Peter gets in a minor accident that required him to get stitches. Sydney gets the first one on one date, and Peter whisks her off in a helicopter to view the jungle from the air. I said a few weeks back that Peter put Sydney in the friend zone when she brought up the Alayah fakeness to him. This date changed my mind. Peter is falling for Sydney, despite her overuse of the phrase “Oh My God.”

For the first time since week one when Madison had her one on one, I see Peter making a connection with another woman. It comes as no surprise that Peter gives her a rose and says he sees a future with her. I am not sure how I feel about Sydney, I did not buy her story about eating lunch in the bathroom stall in high school, but whatever, this is about Peter and his feelings, not mine.

Peter tells Sydney she is the best kisser on their one on one date in the Costa Rican jungle. #Romantic

Crazy Kelsey is Back

The ladies discover that a group date is in their future, except for Kelley, she will be getting a one on one! (!!!!!) Kelsey starts to unravel AGAIN. This time it is because she can not handle watching Peter make connections with other ladies when she already has established one with Peter. I guess Kelsey forgot what show she signed up for….or maybe she’s never watched an episode of The Bachelor before. Regardless, this girl proves again that she is crazy, I mean I called it before the champagne exploded in her face. Kelsey went on my shit list the second she attacked Mykenna for talking to Peter during a rose ceremony.

Capturing Peter’s Heart

On the group date, Peter takes his girls deep into the jungle to do a photoshoot with the editor in chief of Cosmopolitan Magazine, Jessica Pels. Jessica tells the ladies she will choose one lady to be on the cover of the March issue of cosmo based on their preformace in a group setting photoshoot. Que the Kelsey meltdown because she has to compete for attention on this show. *eye roll* Kelsey becomes majorly insecure over the ladies kissing Peter while the pictures were being snapped. Kelsey nearly snapped when Victoria F. (you know, the girl who said she never stands out in a group setting at the Revolve fashion show) won the contest. None of the ladies enjoyed watching Victoria F. and Peter shoot their cover, but we had to listen to Kelsey whine about it the entire time.


Rumble In The Jungle

It may have taken five weeks, but finally, we have some quality content on The Bachelor. On this group date, we can finally see Peter’s connection he has with Victoria F, Hannah Ann, Victoria P, and Madison before Kelsey crashes the vibe. She explains to Peter that she is having a hard time watching him with other ladies because her feelings for Peter are so strong-she tells Peter that she is falling in love with him. Peter tells Kelsey that she has been on his mind a lot, and all I have to say is RUN! Run as fast as you can, Peter, into the jungle to get away from this girl!

Tammy breaks my number one rule and uses her time to expose Kelsey. Tammy throws Kelsey under the bus and tells Peter that she has been drinking excessively; Tammy was so out of line here! It’s one thing to accuse a girl of being fake, but to tell the bachelor that she has a drinking problem is not cool. Of course, Peter pulls Kelsey aside and questions her emotional breakdown. And here comes the drama we’ve been missing for the last 30 minutes. Thanks, producers; it was super fun while it lasted!

Kelsey basically pulls a Hannah Brown and tells all the ladies to stay in their lanes. So what if she cries, it how she expresses herself. Well, the other ladies aren’t buying it and it ignites them all and their frustrations regarding never ending drama. Maybe if they would quit creating the drama, it would go away! Hannah Ann gets the group date rose, and of course Kelsey is pissed she didn’t get it because she expressed that she was falling in love with Peter.

Kelley Challenges Peter

Kelley gets a one on one date, finally! I have been waiting for this since I found out they met in a hotel lobby before filming. Kelley is realistic as all get out, and she knows this process is a fantasy, and she is not afraid to express that at all. Peter takes Kelley to some sort of relaxation ritual that seems sketchy as heck. Peter is adamant that this spiritual ritual will let him know if there is still a spark between them. I feel like Peter wants clarity on their relationship because Kelley is the most normal girl on his season. She is not throwing her life story at him looking to get a pitty rose; Kelley is not saying that she is in love with him; she is treating this date as an actual first date in real life. *Standing ovation for Kelley*

Peter is almost scolding Kelley because she is trying to dig deep with their conversations. She is trying to see if they are compatible in life, and not just for a TV show, which every girl should be doing! I think Kelley’s confidence in herself and knowing that she doesn’t need a man to be happy in life is a massive blow to his ego. Peter must have gotten the clarity he needed because, after some intense discussion, he gave Kelley a rose. I get major Andi Dorfman vibes, the leading lady in season 10 of The Bachelorette from Kelley.

Kelsey Drama, Part 8478

Back at the house, Kelsey is crying….shocker! Tammy is about to lose her mind. She simply cannot handle the emotional mess that is Kelsey. While all the other ladies are talking about Kelsey and her crying self, Kelsey sneaks away to Peters’s house. Peter is excited to see Kelsey, and he immediately invites her into his bungalow to chat. Kelsey tries to defend herself and the never-ending crying. Peter tells her to let it go; It’s clear that Kelsey is a front runner in Peter’s eyes. Peter is doing nothing but praising Kelsey for coming to him and explaining herself. Again, RUN PETER, RUN!

Peter must be blinded by Kelsey’s beautiful smile to see her crazy because he tells her screw the rose ceremony, here’s your rose! The girls, especially Tammy, are about to lose their mind when she walks back into that house with a rose. And Kelsy does not give two shits about the other ladies and what they have to say about her. When Kelsey walks back in with her rose, she casually tells the ladies that Peter gave her a rose when she went chat with him about things that were said among the ladies. She finished her awkward speech with, “so that means the rose ceremony should be smooth sailing.” Okay, clearly she has never watched this show before…there is no such thing as smooth sailing.

The Cocktail Party That Never Happens

Chris Harrison drops a bomb on the ladies and lets them know there will be no cocktail party. Since Peter already has his mind made up on who he is sending home, its time for the rose ceremony. Before Peter starts to hand out roses, the girls all get upset with Kelsey and blame her for the cocktail party being canceled. My girl Mykenna is having the hardest time with the cancellation; she says that she needed the time with Peter tonight, and I agree! She gets robbed week after week, as drama takes center stage.

Instead of watching Peter make a connection with the ladies at a cocktail party, we get to watch the girls lose their minds. First, we have Kelsey, Tammy, Lexi, and Victoria P. talking about whether or not Kelsey taking Adderall should have been brought to Peters’s attention. Tammy started a rumor that Kelsey “popped pills” and it all came to a head. Then, we have Sydney and Tammy going at each other because Tammy is “crazy”, and then we have my girl Mykenna crying because she could be the one for Peter, but he may not know it because they haven’t had enough time together. So, to update you, Peter, The Bachelor, has not been shown on the TV in a solid 30 minutes. THIS SEASON IS SUCH A FLIPPING DISASTER!!!!!!!!!

The Rose Ceremony Heard ‘Round The Jungle

At the rose ceremony, there are only six roses. Before Peter can begin giving out the roses, Tammy asks Peter if they can chat. Since Peter is all about the drama rather than finding love, he says yes. This conversation turns into a mini cocktail party because AGAIN, THERE ARE NO RULES! My girl Mykenna goes to get the time she’s been robbed of with Peter. Of course, this pisses the girls off (because at this point, what doesn’t?!?!), but Peter assures them that he is just following his heart. Mykenna and Tammy both get a rose, but Shiann and Lexi do not and are headed home.

This week is not over, though, The Bachelor will be back on Wednesday. It looks like there’s more drama in store for us, and I am so mad about it. I stand by what I said last week; there is no way Peter ends this with an engagement. I am ending this episode’s blog the same as last week week…..enough of the drama! Last time I checked, the TV guide said “The Bachelor”, not “The Bad Girls Club.”

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