“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Walmart!” And that sums up my day. If ya living under a rock, the PS5 launch was today. It was also the day millions (and millions) of roody poo candyass common men like me made the decision to never support the retail giant again. Seriously…us common men just wanna spend our hard earned money! Let us! All I know is Walmart better make the Weenie of The Week shortlist!
Walmart Revenue Just Ain’t Enough To Make A Sufficient Website?
You know what the worst part about the Walmart PS5 fail? In 2020, Walmart was ranked the #1 company on the Fortune 500 for the 8th consecutive year for generating $4 FUCKING TRILLION in revenue. Could you imagine having the biggest dick in the world but not being able to get it up when Val Genta submits to you? Walmart can generate $4 Trillion yet they can’t manage to invest in a fucking simple checkout process to support my $500 PlayStation 5 purchase on launch day? How fucking embarrassing. Mayo bank account is one bounced sponsor check away from being negative, but you can still buy merch in this bitch! Get it together.
I Will Always Hate Walmart And This PS Fail Solidifies It
Listen, I have NEVER once had the desire to go to Walmart. Fuck that place. It’s like going to Red Eye. Standing in line just to go inside and stand in line 6 deep at the bar, shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of assholes. The ONLY difference is Walmart doesn’t have a dress code. So I guess Red Eye has that going for em. I digress. The bottom line…this Walmart PS5 Fail is historical. For the first time in game console history, people couldn’t stand in line. And for the first time in game console history, the biggest retailer with the most cash on hand in the country couldn’t find a way to adapt and do better. Sam Walton wouldn’t throw bread at the ducks with these mother fuckers! And nor will I anymore!
I should probably call Badeaux. He’s helped tons of holders in car wrecks, injuries and other misfortunes. PS5 Fuckery count? Plus I know that dude secured not one, but TWO PS5’s. Better Call Badeaux! 504-232-4777