We Could Write A Book About The New Breakers Mascot

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One can honestly say that the New Orleans Breakers mascot is one of the most interesting characters on the planet. This fella looks like a Westbank resident who got bit by a whole ass White Walker.

Mfer smells like axe body spray.

New Orleans Breakers Mascot

He either bleeds Crest toothpaste or hold a few kilos of cocaine inside his body. The descriptions are endless, but one thing I can say is that I don’t hate it. Nope, don’t hate this Johnny Bravo looking White Walker of a mascot who has no name yet.

According to the New Orleans Breakers twitter, the name that wins this poll will be the new name of ice head right here.

Ok, Stop

This is where I kinda have a problem. Don’t fuck up the name. Breaker Brock? Are we fucking seven? No. That will not win. Dave the Wave will win and we still getting it wrong there. It’s gotta be impactful and that is exactly why I’m suggesting the following names:

  • Westbank Dave (my favorite)
  • Johnny Wave Face
  • Pasty Pat
  • Ashy Harry
  • Powder Head
  • Wavey Neutron
  • Cain Nasal

That is where I’m personally at on the name. The state of Louisiana has like 100 more names that are better than the four options listed by Breakers twitter. Not to mention, we do have the most outrageous looking mascot out of the eight total in the USFL.

The cowboy with the ace card on his hat is the only one that really comes close in my opinion. Having a premier mind fuck with a mascot is key to branding this USFL squad. Breakers literally play their first game Sunday on USA Network at 3:00 against the Philly Stars. Just win baby and name this pasty ass mascot.

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HOLD IT.

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