Weekend Hangover Vol 5

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Another Lord’s Day hath passeth and here we findeth ourselves on doth another Monday waking up with a headache thine only Arthur Blank can fathom. That can only mean one thing: It’s time for another installment of the Weekend Hangover.

Chances are that nobody suffered more of a hangover than our neighbors up the river in Baton Rouge after an amazing Tiger win!

Ouch. Turns out Mizzou did “want dat smoke.”

Oh wait. No one else was cheering for Mizzou? The reason for BR being the hangover capital of Louisiana is because Da Tigahs bra came up just short on a 4th and goal to drop another game to winless Missouri on Saturday afternoon. This means that LSU starts the year off at 1-2 for the first time since 1994 when Gerry Dinardo was leading the boys out of the tunnel.

Is it time to pull the panic button? Possibly because it doesn’t look like their usually vaunted Defense can stop Catholic High of Baton Rouge right now. The fans were ready to leave Bo Pelini on the tarmac in St. Louis Saturday and they’ve only faced the likes of Miss. St, Vandy, & Mizzou so far. With a date with Florida this weekend and Auburn/Alabama waiting in the batter’s box, there better be a huge turnaround on the horizon or it’s bound to get ugly in down in Tigerland the next couple months.

My, my, my. How the turntables.

Speaking of Hangovers, the biggest L for the program wasn’t even in Missouri on Saturday. That came yesterday when the team’s punter, yes a fucking punter, took to Twitter in an attempt to silence a BS affiliated account. Here’s apparently how it played out. Dude on said account unleashed what I was thought was par for the course tweet.

Here is said Tweet. I think it’s humorous.

Yet it appears that rather than be upset with his teammates who couldn’t stop a paper bag from getting wet in the desert, he was more concerned with a couple of dudes who spend their weekends getting waxed on $3 Long Islands and talking shit on the internet. Which if you’ve ever stopped to pay attention, is right in line with their fan base?

So this stupidity went on for a couple hours and here’s the kicker (ha, get it). The main reason for Ray Guy over here getting his panties in a bunch was this:

WHAT!?!?

Dude. If you’re a defending National Champion and perennial SEC contender, do you really think a couple of dudes talking shit to your porous defenders is going to hurt your recruiting? How about their actual play or the person coaching them? Wouldn’t that have a bigger effect on continuing to stock the cupboard than some Twitter account? If this isn’t proof that the ship is sinking, I don’t know what is.

In other college news, the Fighting Freret Fitz’s squandered yet another 20+ point lead last week down in H-Town. The Cougs hadn’t played a game all year and had been waiting 53 days to take the field and still took it to Tulane for a win. These dudes should just changed their mascot to the Falcons because the only thing rollin’ on the uptown campus is their string of blown leads.

Oooof level – 10

Moving on to the NFL.

Everyone needs to stop what they are doing and pray for Dak Prescott. No, not because he mangled his ankle and leg yesterday evening, but because he’s probably going to have to continue playing for the Cowboys now due to said injury. In case you missed it, this caused a bunch of Weekend Hangovers over in Tejas

Don’t think it’s supposed to stick out the shoe like that.

Yeah so that didn’t look good at all. Coupled with the fact that he was playing this season on the Franchise Tag and already there are murmurings of “career ending injury” around the league, we honestly need to throw Dak a few Hail Mary’s. Haven’t seen an injury this bad in the league since 2018 when this occurred:

Horror movie or medical documentary?

That “leg” belongs to Washington QB Alex Smith. After almost losing the limb and having 10+ surgeries to fix this break and subsequent infections, Smith ACTUALLY PLAYED yesterday for the first time in 2 years. After being only activated yesterday morning, Smith was forced back into action when new starter Kyle Allen got knocked out the game on a helmet to helmet hit. How about that for a bit of feel good news for once from the Weekend Hangover. A big seltzer sized toast to you Mr. Smith.

A worthy Weekend Hangover binge in rock n’ roll town.

I’ll tell you who else woke up questioning life this morning, the beloved Browns fans over in Cleveland. Only unlike the LSU faithful, their headaches were from an onslaught of victory beers as they wrote their own history stemming from 1994. (That must have been a weird year for everyone.)

Nice specs, Nick.

Yup. Baker and the Boys just ripped off their 4th straight victory with their only loss being to the Ravens, who are pretty damn good. Seems as if all the critics are mighty quiet all of a sudden and HTM has taken note.

Weekend Hangover is always ready to die on Mt. Mayfield

Then there was the Falcons.

It appears that the 28-3 hangover has finally run its course after both HC Dan Quinn and GM Thomas Dimitroff were canned after yesterday afternoon’s L to the Run CMC-less Carolina Panthers. I’m sure that all 13 of Atlanta Falcon fans are ecstatic but most of the Who Dat nation is not happy in the least.

This dynamic duo was responsible for some of the greatest collapses in NFL history and I am definitely sad that the Saints lost two of their best contributors in the leagues greatest rivalry. I’m just shocked he didn’t get canned after the epic collapse against Dallas but it appears an 0-5 start to the season was just too much to swallow. Kinda similar to that 5th shot of Grand Mariner at your boy from high school’s wedding.

An ATL loss always helps the Weekend Hangover out.

I told myself I wouldn’t do it.

Pettiness always prevails.

It was still done.

Even though I promised that I wasn’t going to do it because let’s face it, we’ve been here before with ragging the Falcons only to have the Aints show up on Monday Night Football. It was just too easy and risking the jinx to the Who Dats suddenly felt worth it. The Saints were looking to be in pretty good shape heading into MNF against the Chargers. Tompa Bay had just lost on Thursday Night, the Falcons ate a shit burger once again, and Michael Thomas was coming back baby!

But of course, that was too soon.

News broke yesterday afternoon that he was declared out once again due to his nagging high ankle sprain. Or was it because of his high ankle sprain? Tom Pelissero reported that Thomas was out tonight for “team discipline reasons” stemming from a practice altercation with Ceedy Deuce. After all of the deets surfaced from this little scuffle, only one reaction made perfect sense.

Seems as if that was a popular train of thought because the Mayo Man also shared that sentiment enough to pump out a few choice words on the matter. Now while he’s wrong about MT being able to throw hands on CJGJ, I fully support him engaging in fisticuffs with everyone’s least favorite activist who’s looked like a complete corpse in pass coverage. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think a tombstone followed by a Macho Man elbow off the top rope would be out of line in this regard.

Better yet. Get the tables!

How will the Saints respond to the whole debacle this evening? One can only hope that Taysom Hill does his best Chase Claypool impression and goes off for 4 TDs so that he can shut up all the naysayers calling for his immediate benching because he’s fumbled a few times this year. Don’t know who Claypool is? Neither did I, but the dude went off yesterday and obviously won me over as a fan with this gem.

Yo Chase. How many TDs you get?

Half a Claypool impression from Hill or any WR would be amazing. Hopefully our defense can show up for 4 quarters as well because this secondary looks absolutely atrocious so far this season. Guess we shall wait and see if the Weekend Hangover Vol 5 spills over into Tuesday because of a much needed Saints dub to put them back on top the NFC South heading into their Week 6 bye.

Of course, it could always end up like this.

Again.

HOLD IT.

Weekend Hangover Vol 5

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