The almost 40 year old Macaulay Culkin will not be watching Home Alone with you during the holidays. In fact, he probably can’t fucking stand ya. Nah, but all isn’t as unordinary with Mister Culkin as you might have heard.
Wow, this guy looks just like me! Would you all mind picking up a copy of this month's @Esquire so we can get to the bottom of this mystery? Check it out now at https://t.co/a3m2AlS088 pic.twitter.com/FszjjL0x3U
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) February 11, 2020
My guy gonna be just fine! Don’t even worry about it. Not even here to bring anyone through the journey, but walk with me real quick. Do you remember Brenda Song? Ah, yes this is a sealed deal.
It’s something about Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin being in a happy relationship that’s sparks joy for my inner-child pic.twitter.com/Xe0oGp4D0B
— minahil (@baedotdoe) May 21, 2020
Wow, so here for this shit. 30 years later, this is what presents itself to the world in the form of Macaulay Culkin. The Brenda Boat arrived a few years back. The two met filming a movie called “Changeland” in 2018 and been fucking ever since. That is correct, London Tipton is smushing Macauly Culkin as frequently as ya grab something out ya fridge and they will have babies. Also, both these fools are into their own brand of hobbies. Culkin clearly advocates wrestling and Brenda likes the Rams, ew. Lastly, I found this website called Bunny Ears that Culky put together in 2018.
Essentially, I had got the vibe that this was just a bunch of raging fucking liberals. I did manage to find some wrestling content, some laughable shit, and more rage writing. The site lists like 100 bloggers, and ya may see a few active in and out. He does have a podcast, but no episodes since December. I guess starting a brand is hard work. Anyways with all that said, I regret to inform you that I unfollowed Macaulay Culkin on Twitter and think the podcast sucks. Good luck to him though, not a bad dude overall it seems.