Where Has Zion Been Eating In New Orleans? One Can Only Speculate

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Where has Zion been eating?

No secret that Zion Williamson has been eating around New Orleans like a young Emril Lagasse since drafted in 2019. There is a ton of components to that. In fact, before we get started I do want to raise awareness to a couple of things that may have slipped down the Decatur street drain.

not the first time we spoke on this

Stan Van Gundy just may be the primary reason Zion don’t give a fuck about his weight right now. The image of him and Stan eating all over fucking New Orleans is imprinted in my head. Swapping turns on who pays the bill and venturing around for the enjoyment of food.

Parkway Bakery
Zion is in the po-boy community

I wrote on spots that Van Gundy may have been hopping around in October of 2020. Welp, it looks like we may have been on to something major judging by the Zion weight trend right now and how quiet Van Gundy has been since departure. It’s either he’s eaten so much he can’t talk or he has intel.

I think Stan personally put Zion on to Parkway & Dat Dog.


Zion Learned,
Zion Been Eating

A place like Manchu…

The man is aware and follows local celebs.

Zion been eating

He saw the likes of Chauncey Gardner-Johnson snapping polaroids of their Manchu plates and became intrigued.

Zion has been active at Manchu imo

Just A Note Here

I also wanna say that I can’t decide if I’ll even be mad at Zion when he becomes a full-time food critic in New Orleans. That shit will tight as fuck to see Zion truly happy and doing it in New Orleans not having to worry about injury or slamming anything but a hot plate in folks faces.

More Locations

I wouldn’t be the asshole to count out any of these following establishments being responsible for Zion’s weight as of late.

Port of Call
Certified Weight Gain Center

Wanna see the difference in all parts of the body? Head over to Port of Call routinely and lemme know how ya ass looks after a few months. This place will pack on pounds and clog up athletic arteries. Still in my opinion, the greatest hamburger in the city.

Dat Dog
get fat as fuck and smile

Zion was looking for something to make him happy when he arrived to this lackluster Pelican’s organization. Dat Dog can do just that. I do believe I had this one on Van Gundy’s list as well. Go throw a few dogs to the face and smile while ya pack on a few libbies in the process. Nothing sad about creative hot dogs and colorful vibes.

New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood
Tourists will tell ya to go

Not that I even have a real problem with NOHS, but it is most certainly one of the first places Zion heard about when he moved down here. Some space cadet told him they had the best New Orleans selection of food in town, he went and fell in love with the thin fried catfish.

Dessert For Zion?

Absolutely, Zion is no fool. He took his hungry ass to Brocoto’s with Stan Van one day and never forgot about it. Nothing says fuck the athletic world like a night trip to Brocoto’s with bad intentions.

Could be Zion’s favorite spot

The list could go on forever and it would be nothing short of entertaining to continue this list. Has to be more entertaining than watching the Pels blow a completely controlled lead over the Phoenix Suns last night and falling to a lackluster 1-7 record to start this beautiful season.

Zion will get to scope out a few restaurants in Sacramento tonight as the Pels will play the Kings. That is without Zion, BI and idk anybody that could possibly make a difference. Happy Holidays to all!

instead of buying a bunch of fatty foods,
buy ya honey something nice this holiday season.

Head over to Edberg this holiday season with all the money you’ve saved from not eating New Orleans outta house and home. Use the code “HTMAYO” on their website right here and save 10% on any online purchase you make over $100. Just helping out y’all relationships.


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