We now start the efforts to snag a new sponsor for the Superdome. Earlier this week, reports came out that Mercedes-Benz is dropping its name from our beloved Louisiana Superdome to focus on Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta. I thought Mercedes-Benz was a shitty sponsor to begin with, so I am glad they are going with a shitty franchise, the Atlanta Falcons. As the search for a sponsor begins, I have been thinking as to who the new sponsor should be. I figured an eight-team mayo tournament would help the people decide who should take the rights. Just my thoughts. Who knows, a sponsor might see this and muster up the balls to pay the bill to get their name on the dome. We begin…
Will You Sponsor Our Dome?
(1)Larry Flynt’s Superdome vs. (8)Hard Rock Dome
(1) Larry Flynt- Nobody may actually know who Larry Flynt is, but you sure as hell see his name all around Bourbon Street. Mister Flynt is responsible for the copious amounts of strip clubs located in New Orleans. Strip clubs are one of the staples of Bourbon Street. Although stripping isn’t an ideal good time for some, many tourist flock to our streets to pay a very fine young woman to shove her breasts in their face. The Saints should be playing under this name because they and Mister Flynt share the same mentality; work hard, play harder.
(8) Hard Rock– Although this may be too soon for some, the Hard Rock and the Saints have something in common. They’re both good at collapsing when it means the most. Don’t worry about the past, we’re gonna get through it and win the big game this year. Just like we are going to get past the whole shit show they call the Hard Rock fiasco, perseverance is key. Sure, I can write for hours about how the Hard Rock situation pisses me off, but I think to pay homage to some of our cities finest work, this may be a dark horse candidate to win the whole damn thing.
(4) Popeye’s Poydras Dome vs. (5) Blue Oak BBQ’s Big Dome
(4) Popeye’s– The only reason Popeye’s is a four seed is strictly because of their name itself. Popeyes is iconic, just like the bless you boys. We needed some flare in here. The Popeye’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich swept the nation. Everyone and their mothers were losing their shit when this sandwich came out. Overall, it’s alright, but it will fuck up your entire day if you eat one too early. The Saints do the same, moderate yourself.
(5) Blue Oak BBQ- As us locals hear a lot, there are always comparisons between the two. In my choice, it’s a no-brainer that the Blue Oak Spicy Chicken Sandwich is SUPERIOR to all sandwiches. Local bias, but lovely bias at the same time right here.
Change of Pace
(3) Pat O’Brien’s Boomtown vs (6) F&M’s Superdome
(3) Pat O’Brien’s- Another absolute landmark of the city. First off, the amount of times I have drank multiple hurricanes, got blackout, and stayed at the Piano Bar until 4am is quite alarming. Second, Pat O’s is THE go to bar in New Orleans, if you’re a tourist. But even locals get sucked into the tourist trap every now and then. This could be a very appropriate sponsor. The name Pat O’s is synonymous with New Orleans and hurricanes too. But, let’s just think about the drinks and good times for now. Good luck Pat.
(6) F&M Patio Bar- Alas, we arrived to the death pit. F&M will chew you up and spit you out like nothing. Everyone from around here knows the legend of F&M’s. The cheese fries, and the pool table. Shit, my mother even showed me a picture of her on the pool table back in her college day (no pics you heathens). This could be a fitting sponsor for the dome. First, because this place is right next to Grit’s, and the Saints have grit. Second, the blackout you endure here is just training for the blackout you and the other team endure in the Superdome. Good luck to the slop fest known as F&M.
(2) Morris Bart Megadome vs. (7) Ronnie’s Dealer Dome
(2) Morris Bart Injury Attorney– Now we need a name that is everywhere. Who can tell me who you see the most on the billboards? Who do you see the most sitting right next to the bench at Pelican’s games? That’s right. Morris “Bad Mother Fucker” Bart. He is also all over Alabama and Mississippi, just like the saints, so that is a perfect match. This man is the epitome of a scumbag ambulance chaser lawyer. Who else do people consider a scumbag? Sean Payton for the bounty scandal. Either way, I don’t care (about the bounty scandal that is). Also, I changed it to Megadome than Superdome because if Mo would ever get the rights to the dome, he would definitely do something douchey like that.
(7) Lamarque Ford- No, this is in no way related to Mr. Mayo’s previous relationship with Mr. Lamarque. Just Like Morris Bart, Mr. Lamarque’s name is everywhere. Although more entertaining but more annoying, at least you can say this man is way more NOLA than ole Mo Bart. Also, it seems like he is more a man of faith, which ties directly into the faith-based name of the Saints. Honestly, the commercials are drip as hell.
We have full polls starting on 5/21/2020 on Facebook & Twitter.
We now start the final four to hatch out this chaos. In the first round we saw Ronnie Lamarque take a tough L to Morris Bart. We also saw Popeye’s give Blue Oak BBQ the entire kitchen in a blowout victory. Mix that with a Pat O’Brien’s shit show victory against F and M’s, and a statement win by the infamous Larry Flynt. Let’s get this action moving…
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