Just when you heard another dude bitch about not having sports right now, WWE MITB shows up on the same night as “The Last Dance” on ESPN. Also, on the same night as “The Last Ride” Undertaker documentary exclusively on the WWE Network after WWE MITB.
PPV: WWE MITB, Money in The Bank
Where: WWE Performance Center. Orlando, Florida and I think like the WWE HeadQuarters. Real weird deal… NO FANS, so don’t ask.
If you don’t have the WWE Network and you even somewhat slightly dabble with wrestling, or nostalgic attitude era wrestling….then idk bro.
WWE MITB Full Plate
Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro
Jeff Hardy looking for his 78th comeback to get kicked off with some W’s. Hardy gets to dual with Cesaro, whom has found himself on the kickoff show again. Jeff Hardy can still fucking fly, but he looks like he needs an ice pack as soon as he lands. However, solid match for a kickoff match right?
Results: Jeff Hardy wins, may or may not get arrested tonight.
The New Day (Kofi & Big E) vs. Lucha House Party vs. The Miz & John Morrison vs. The Forgotten Sons (TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH)
The New Day still relevant after a half a decade, and still holding them titles. The Miz and Morrison will tell you 45 different reasons why they didn’t win the match. The Lucha House Party is the worst name for a tag team, maybe ever. Lastly, The Forgotten Sons are actually pretty tight.
Results: The New Day retain the titles, currently headed to eat a bowl of BOOTY O’s.
MVP vs. R-Truth (Playa’s Only Invitational)
Turns out MVP is the “Most Valuable Pussy” as he had Bobby Lashley waiting in the chamber to face R-Truth instead of himself. That move is the move of a has been playa. Results: Bobby Big Head wins….
(C)Bayley vs. Tamina (Smackdown Women’s Championship)
That pic is fucking tight and I could give a rat’s ass about Bayley. The former rainbow hugging phenom is now a heel and facing a big ole bitch in Tamina.
Results: Bayley retains, gives Tamina a really good match so good for that girl seriously. Other than that, I could give a shit about this match.
WWE Gold On The Line
(C)Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins
Drew McIntyre said that Seth Rollins runs his trap too fucking much and don’t back it up. McIntyre claims he is bringing Rollins to Claymore Country tonight. Rollins to me is a solid fucking commodity of the WWE. Honestly, I don’t think anyone would mind seeing Rollins holding that belt over McIntyre when the night is set and done. Don’t forget Seth is the king of MITB moments, but the whole “Monday Night Messiah” thing is freaking me out…
Results: Drew McIntyre retains with a head butt to the face followed by a jaw smacking claymore to finish.
The Fiend vs. Braun
(C)Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt
Results: Braun Strowman fucks with Bray Wyatt’s head, slams him to hell shortly after and wins the match.
WWE MITB MATCH
I was going to watch a Quinten Tarantino flick tonight, but instead I just counted on WWE to completely trip me the fuck out with these matches.
Women’s MITB: Winner: Asuka
No Comment as of yet.
Men’s MITB: Winner: OTIS! No Comment as of yet.